A Real Live Crush

No, I don't have one. Well... maybe not? I don't think so? Long story. But it is so incredibly awkward when I think someone might have one on me. I don't know how much more there is to say about it, but knowing me I'll come up with some commentary.

The thing is, crushes are more complicated for asexuals than for sexuals, which is saying a lot because I don't think crushes are particularly simple for sexuals. An asexual person is gonna have one of two pretty unique experiences. If they're aromantic, that's one situation and if they're romantic, that's another altogether.

So, I'm no expert on being aromantic because I'm romantic (though not very, and not in the stereotypical way. That's a post in itself). But I'm going to venture a guess that being aromantic and knowing someone has a crush on you is probably super awkward. Cause there's not a snowball's chance in heck that you're going to feel the same way about them. And if you're romantic, it's awkward because you still aren't quite going to feel the same way about them, with the added bonus of the fact that you might be quite interested in them, but not in the way they are interested in your or in the way they'd like you to be interested in them. Yikes.

How do people handle this? I've kind of got this idea that I'd like any guy I'd be into dating to know that I'm asexual. I don't know if I'd be able to have sex with anyone- I've just never been in a position to find out, because if I were ever to allow someone to have sex with me I'd have to trust them more than anyone in the world. I'd have to be more comfortable with them than with anyone else. It would take a lot of real closeness for me to be okay with that. What that means in a relationship is that we're not going to be doing the whole premarital sex thing, because if I were close enough to a guy to be able to have sex with him we'd be so close that we were married. Tell me if this doesn't make sense. But the problem is, at what point is is appropriate to tell someone? I want to get it out in the open before I start dating someone, but what if sexuality just isn't something we discuss? I try to avoid "the talk" because that's awkward and it makes a bigger deal out of it than I'm cool with. Gotta think about this one some more.