I've been downloading music (er... copying it from Youtube? Can I even admit to that?) and one of the songs I "downloaded"(/copied illegally) was the song 'The Only Gay Eskimo'. It's one of those songs that I'm not sure is actually in good taste, but I think it's pretty funny.
The lyrics go like this:
"I'm the only gay eskimo
I'm the only one I know
I'm the only gay eskimo
In my tribe."
And then the singer goes on to describe the trials and tribulations of this gay eskimo. Frighteningly, I think I kind of identify with this song. I've finally met somebody else who's ase, but we're not close friends. We just say hi when we pass each other. We've got lots of stuff to talk about when we spend time together- we just never do. Gay, straight, bi, whatever- all my friends are sexual. And until I came out to them, they didn't know that asexuals existed although they all say it makes sense that we do.
It can be isolating to be the only person who thinks the way I think and who wants the things I want in life. When my friends sit around talking about boys, I don't understand the attraction and I never will. Being in college, they don't just talk about who's pretty... they talk about guys always in terms of sex. Knowing that they mean 'attractive' in a different level than I do makes me reluctant to join in their conversations. I don't want to end up saying the wrong thing, something I don't mean, and be misunderstood. So I get left out of the conversation. It's embarassing to realize I'm the only one who doesn't understand a topic of conversation. It's lonely to realize I'm that nobody agrees with me or understands what I am saying. And it's really freaking awkward when somebody follows up what I thought was an innocent comment with 'That's what she said!" I try to laugh along. I try to see it as funny. What other option do I have?
That's the price I pay, I guess, for being the only gay eskimo.